Alight this is going to be uber-geeky, but oh well. A friend of mine led me around on my birthday for hours. My wife picked out my clothes that day. She was getting mystery texts all day. She kept checking my phone. My friend insisted on getting some take out sushi, which is really where things began to fall apart. The concept of take out sushi was absurd to me. She was spreading dis-information throughout the day. And, I never, ever caught on. She planned and executed a surprise birthday party without me ever catching wind of it. I was completely surprised. Apparently coworkers were chatting in a web browser search bar on my computer in my office and I never caught on. Apparently, they even got texts from my wife while in my office and I never looked at their phones to spy. The operational security was quite impressive.
My wonderful wife even bought me a birthday cake for my birthday. As much as she loathes Star Trek, she bought be a Star Trek (TOS in this case) birthday cake. Thanks everyone.